earthendenim (earthendenim) wrote,

  • Mood:
Ah, the update. In passing, I will warn you that I absolutely hate the new keyboard I had to buy (...thanks, old and chummy keyboard. Bite me, CompUSA special), and so I hereby absolve myself of any future committed and uncaught spelling errors due to the sticky nature of the damned thing. Fucker.

All in all, things are going pretty well for me. I know I haven't done a lot of updating, but then again I haven't had a lot of time to myself in, oh, the past 8 months. Things with Ryan are well, I have a good job, I'm moving out with Holly soon, and so on.

Even so, I've been feeling a little....well, blah. I am plagued by a back that has, if not outright pain, an unfair share of stiffness and discomfort, and as much as I'd like to submit myself to expensive medical tests to see if I can discover what's causing it...well, I can think of other things to spend 1K on.

I wish I could figure out what it is I'd need to do to get myself feeling freer. Sometimes I think I've taken on so much that, while I enjoy every minute of it, I'm somehow losing myself to it. I keep finding myself being grouchy, logy, and in other unfortunate mental states. Even as I type now I wonder if I'm somehow depressed, but I don't see how that could be. I'm happy, just...not comfortable.

Perhaps when I move out to Farmington things will get better. Obviously, my routine will change, and I hope it's more stimulating than what I've been living with. Not that I don't love Mom and Dad, and not that I'm ungrateful of all they've done for me, but sometimes I wonder if I've not just gotten too Grown Up to be here anymore. I suppose I'll find out soon.

I really don't have any worries, problems, or complaints about my relationship with Ryan. I like the work I do, and I don't even have to worry about classes again until September (which, from May, seems a glorious long time).

So, what am I missing?

Hmm...more later, I suppose. Time to ruminate on this. Maybe I'll go for a long drive, make a music mix, even try to write. It's so easy to lose myself in the TV, or (yes) in a book. I've always been a bit of a snob because I enjoy reading so much more than watching TV, but isn't it essentially the same process using slightly different mental muscles? Out, damned spring funk!

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